I gotta put this pen down

it gets to be too much
I get it

I gotta put this pen down

whose life am I living?
the people looking back at me

interrupting me

it’s on accident that I’m there to look at
on accident at best

so it gets to be too much

when I speak
when I need

you being the stronger one

be the stronger one,
walk away from me

a college education

to hear that tiredness, mom, in your voice
that beaten down snap at me,
not the snap but the fatigue,
mom, I just couldn’t do it sometimes

much as my stomach ached
even as hunger overtook my whole body, my whole mind
my whole mission for my life, for the day
I just could not ask

and so I have to say sometimes to people
yeah, my mom let me go hungry,
let me be hungry
just long enough
to figure it out

that I can feed myself
that a bite blissful is a miracle
is a reason to celebrate
to figure out when it’s time to leave
a desert