She is rising just now,
rising,
from a cream silk bed
buttered with sun.
Every time you’ve touched me,
I’ve thought of her.
Her sheening hair,
her sincere smile,
her scathing tongue
and cooling lips.
In fact, she haunts me,
reigns my dreams.
It was your mumbled
midnight words,
it will be
your mumbled midnight words
that slide like a film
between us.
Posts
it was, it will = nice
ReplyDeletereigns my dreams = ? reigns in my dreams? reigns over my dreams? This is exercise of sovereign power, and makes me wonder which. If that's you intent, to let the reader decide, that works. Still it puzzles me.
Yes, I worried and still worry over "reigns my dreams." The initial intention was "reigns over my dreams," but the sound didn't feel right, so I took out over. Thinking about the resultant ambiguity created by deleting "over," I think I like it to remain ambiguous, to suggest both interpretations simultaneously. She is both the person in power in my dreams and the person who controls what I dream. Still, that it is unclear may just be more distracting than illuminating :/
ReplyDeleteI'm glad "it was/ it will" came through! I was worried about that being unclear, too.
Thank you for your comments! It's so helpful to hear from others how things actually come across.